As the holiday season fades into memory, families prepare for the return to school. Whether it’s a brand-new year or a new beginning for some, there’s a flurry of activity—packing backpacks, making lunches, and getting everyone back into routine. But amidst all of this, it’s essential to acknowledge the range of emotions that come with this transition. In this article, we’ll explore four key ways to support your child’s emotional journey as they ease back into school.
The return to school can stir up a mix of emotions in children—from excitement and anticipation to nervousness and even a little bit of worry. Helping them navigate these emotions is crucial. We’ll look at some simple, yet effective, ways to support them through regulation, reconnection, reflection, and of course, taking care of yourself along the way!
- Regulation: Creating a Safe Space for Emotional Expression
The first step in easing your child back into the school routine is helping them decompress emotionally. After a long day, they might feel overwhelmed, and emotions may surface in unexpected ways—sometimes even when you least expect it!
It’s totally okay if they don’t feel like talking. Sometimes, kids just need space to process their feelings before they can express them. Don’t worry—being there and simply acknowledging their emotions can go a long way.
Here’s what you can do:
- Create a safe space for expression: Whether your child wants to talk or not, let them know that all their feelings are valid. You can say things like, “I can see you’re feeling upset. That’s totally okay! I’m here whenever you feel like talking.”
- It’s all about emotional safety. Let your child know that feeling a little bit of nervousness, frustration, or even excitement about school is totally normal! And, if they don’t feel like talking yet, that’s perfectly fine. Just let them know you’re there and ready when they are.
- Consider physical needs too: Sometimes emotions get tangled with hunger or exhaustion. Offering a snack or a calming activity—like a quick walk outside or some quiet time or even a shower/bath—can work wonders. Example: “How about a snack and a drink before we chat? Sometimes a little food makes everything feel better!”
Remember: Children will feel your calm energy too! If you’re feeling stressed, they’re likely to pick up on that vibe, so take a deep breath, slow down, and lead with patience.
- Connection: Rebuild the Bond After School
Once your child has had a chance to relax a bit, it’s time to re-establish your connection. This helps them feel secure and supported as they navigate their emotions.
A little connection goes a long way—especially after a busy day at school! The goal is to offer emotional comfort and reassurance. By creating little traditions and rituals, you can help them ease into the post-school routine.
Ideas to Reconnect:
- Morning rituals: Start their day with something familiar—maybe a secret handshake, a quick hug, or even a love heart drawn on their hand (or in their lunchbox). This small gesture can make all the difference in starting the day with comfort and confidence. Little things like these help reduce any back-to-school jitters and build connection.
- After-school reconnect: After the school bell rings, create space for some bonding time. This might be a short game of hide-and-seek, building something together with LEGO, colouring in or just hanging out for a cozy hug. These little moments let your child know they’re supported and that their feelings are important.
Remember: You don’t need hours of play to reconnect. Even just 15 minutes of focused, playful time can help your child feel grounded and more open to expressing themselves.
- Reflection: Gently Unpacking the Day
Once your child is feeling a little more grounded and safe, it’s time to reflect on their day—gently. Kids often need time to shift from emotional overload to thoughtful processing, so give them the space to share their experiences in their own time.
Reflection is about curiosity—not interrogation. Instead of asking, “Who did you play with?” or “What’s your teacher like?” allow your child to open up when they’re ready. Sometimes, letting them share freely helps them make sense of their feelings.
What can you ask instead? Here are some ideas:
- “What was the best part of your day today?”
- “Did you learn anything new that was exciting?”
- “Was there anything tricky about today?”
These types of open-ended questions encourage your child to think about their day in a way that feels less intimidating. It’s about giving them the space to talk when they feel like it, and when they’re able to process their thoughts.
Remember: Sometimes, they may not be ready to share yet—and that’s totally fine. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that they can share whenever they feel comfortable.
- Take Care of Yourself (Yes, You!)
Supporting your child through a big transition can be a lot of work—and can leave you feeling a little drained. But you can’t pour from an empty cup! It’s essential to take care of your own emotional needs, too.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you make time to recharge, you’re better equipped to show up for your child. Whether it’s through a walk in the fresh air, a chat with friends, or a quiet moment with a book—prioritise your own well-being.
Here are some tips for taking care of you:
- Make time for yourself: Whether it’s a quick walk, a cup of tea, or time with friends, find little moments to fill your cup. Taking care of your own mental and emotional needs helps you stay grounded when things get busy.
- Talk about your feelings too: Show your child that it’s okay to express your emotions, too. You might say, “I feel a little tired after today, but I’m okay. I’m going to take a few minutes for myself to rest.”
- Be gentle with yourself: Remember, it’s normal to feel a bit overwhelmed during transitions, and there’s no one-size-fits-all way to do things. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this busy time.
Final Thoughts:
Supporting your child through the back-to-school transition involves more than just logistics. It’s about embracing their emotions, fostering connection, and ensuring they feel seen, heard, and understood. With a little empathy, patience, and a touch of play, you can help your child not only survive the back-to-school season—but thrive in it!
Some Great Resources:
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst: A beautiful book illustrating the unbreakable connection between loved ones. It can reassure children that, even when apart, they are always connected by an invisible thread of love.
- The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn: This heartwarming story about Chester the raccoon will help children feel secure and loved, even when they are away from their caregivers.
- Maggie Dent: A wonderful resource for articles and videos on separation anxiety and starting school. Visit Maggie Dent’s website for more helpful insights.
- Lael Stone: Author and educator who offers amazing articles on play and connection. Visit Lael Stone’s website for more on how play can support your child’s emotional resilience.
Natalie Mortimer
St Mary’s Manly School Counsellor